When I was as young as I could remember, I always had a reoccurring nightmare. It starts out different but that I am at a fun event, festival or fair. There are a lot of pretty lights, sparkling. Then kayos and turmoil. The ground begins to heave, shake and move. Land crashes, people are screaming in pain. I turn to help them and I begin to ascend. There is fire all around. I am frantic, but I cannot reach them as I am moving upward. My feet come off the ground and I reach farther down to the hands waiting for mine. I am terrified that I cannot save them all. I am crying. They are screaming as I move upward in blackness. I can feel their pain, so much pain. It's a hardness and ugliness. Like I am carrying the weight of the world in my heart. I feel like it's my fault. They are so sad. So much terror and pain. It hurts. I can barely breathe.
It is all so horrible down there. But as I look toward where I am going, it too is blackness.
I move slowly away from the earth. The screams become faint. I am cold. I know I am not alone, but I feel I have abandoned them. Soon I seen the curvature of the earth. It's so incredibly beautiful. A rainbow of blues into blackness. Through my tears the true sky blue resting on the horizon is just a mist in my eyes. Never seen something so beautiful and awesome. I am choking on my tears. Then the golden rays of the sun peek above the curvature. "I am here," I say. I am still crying for all those I left behind. Still crying, "I am here."
My dad's hand wakes me up from my night terror.
How does a child 4 years old have such dreams.
I always wondered where they came from.
I had the dreams through my life, less often as I grow older. I have seen visions, some beautiful, some horrible. My brothers and sisters, 5 of them, learned when I was having the dream. They learned how to wake me up -- and eventually I learned to wake myself up. It was hard at first, and I failed quite a bit and had to crawl back into my body to wake myself up "again." But they became lessons on how to control my dreams. How to get out of or change a dream -- and without even thinking, I was able to get out of my body thinking I was awake. But I had to get back into that body to wake myself up just to stop having that feeling of night terror. But my body just laid there, pretty worthless, I would think to myself.
It almost became a joke. I've have had many OBEs, but I'll share a funny one with you.
One night when I was having a night terror (I was about 28) I tried to wake myself up. I accidentally got out of my body thinking I was awake. I strode downstairs not realizing that I felt a little light, among other things. My sisters were watching TV in the living room downstairs. Heck, as I moved downstairs, I realized I was floating above them. Not my body, just me out of my body. Doggone it, I said as I made my way back to my body. I've got to wake myself up. I could tell you what they were watching on TV, how they were positioned, what lights were on, what they were munching on, all the details.
Well I tried three times in 20 minutes, I don't know why I was so sure about the time, but I was. They were all unsuccessful ventures. Each time I got out and left my body behind. Funny how I thought it might just get up and follow me into me. Geez.
When I finally REALLY woke myself up and made it to the stairs and I was ON the stairs IN my body and I was SURE I was awake, I proclaimed laughingly, " I made it, I finally made it."
I told my sisters the story and included what they were eating earlier with deatils. They believed me and actually congratulated me. I've had so many experiences such as this, I don't get scared anymore, and they don't think I'm weird. They remember sleeping in the same room with me, and it's just been part of my life. But I've learned better how to control this OBE thing. I've done it on purpose and had a few surprises.
You should have seen me the first time I woke my husband up in the middle of the night and pleaded with him to "Wake me up, I'm having trouble getting out of this dream and I can't seem to stay in my body."
The next day I yelled at him for not helping me. I had to explain the whole deal to him then. He's been helpful ever since.
