"I cannot forgive--I love."There are four bare walls; there is a Christ upon the walls, in red,carrying his cross; there is a Blessed Bambino with the face rubbed out;there is Madonna in blue and red; there are Roman soldiers and a Christwith tied hands. All the roof is gone; overhead is the blue, blue Italiansky; the rain has beaten holes in the walls, and the plaster is peelingfrom it. The chapel stands here alone upon the promontory, and by day andby night the sea breaks at its feet. Some say that it was set here by themonks from the island down below, that they might bring their sick here intimes of deadly plague. Some say that it was set here that the passingmonks and friars, as they hurried by upon the roadway, might stop and saytheir prayers here. Now no one stops to pray here, and the sick come nomore to be healed.Behind it runs the old Roman road. If you climb it and come and sit therealone on a hot sunny day you may almost hear at last the clink of the Romansoldiers upon the pavement, and the sound of that older time, as you sitthere in the sun, when Hannibal and his men broke through the brushwood,and no road was.Now it is very quiet. Sometimes a peasant girl comes riding by between herpanniers, and you hear the mule's feet beat upon the bricks of thepavement; sometimes an old woman goes past with a bundle of weeds upon herhead, or a brigand-looking man hurries by with a bundle of sticks in hishand; but for the rest the Chapel lies here alone upon the promontory,between the two bays and hears the sea break at its feet.I came here one winter's day when the midday sun shone hot on the bricks ofthe Roman road. I was weary, and the way seemed steep. I walked into thechapel to the broken window, and looked out across the bay. Far off,across the blue, blue water, were towns and villages, hanging white and reddots, upon the mountain-sides, and the blue mountains rose up into the sky,and now stood out from it and now melted back again.The mountains seemed calling to me, but I knew there would never be abridge built from them to me; never, never, never! I shaded my eyes withmy hand and turned away. I could not bear to look at them.I walked through the ruined Chapel, and looked at the Christ in redcarrying his cross, and the Blessed rubbed-out Bambino, and the Romansoldiers, and the folded hands, and the reed; and I went and sat down inthe open porch upon a stone. At my feet was the small bay, with its whiterow of houses buried among the olive trees; the water broke in a long,thin, white line of foam along the shore; and I leaned my elbows on myknees. I was tired, very tired; tired with a tiredness that seemed olderthan the heat of the day and the shining of the sun on the bricks of theRoman road; and I lay my head upon my knees; I heard the breaking of thewater on the rocks three hundred feet below, and the rustling of the windamong the olive trees and the ruined arches, and then I fell asleep there.I had a dream.A man cried up to God, and God sent down an angel to help him; and theangel came back and said, "I cannot help that man."God said, "How is it with him?"And the angel said, "He cries out continually that one has injured him; andhe would forgive him and he cannot."God said, "What have you done for him?"The angel said, "All--. I took him by the hand, and I said, 'See, whenother men speak ill of that man do you speak well of him; secretly, in wayshe shall not know, serve him; if you have anything you value share it withhim, so, serving him, you will at last come to feel possession in him, andyou will forgive.' And he said, 'I will do it.' Afterwards, as I passedby in the dark of night, I heard one crying out, 'I have done all. Ithelps nothing! My speaking well of him helps me nothing! If I share myheart's blood with him, is the burning within me less? I cannot forgive; Icannot forgive! Oh, God, I cannot forgive!'"I said to him, 'See here, look back on all your past. See from yourchildhood all smallness, all indirectness that has been yours; look well atit, and in its light do you not see every man your brother? Are you sosinless you have right to hate?'"He looked, and said, 'Yes, you are right; I too have failed, and I forgivemy fellow. Go, I am satisfied; I have forgiven;' and he laid him downpeacefully and folded his hands on his breast, and I thought it was wellwith him. But scarcely had my wings rustled and I turned to come up here,when I heard one crying out on earth again, 'I cannot forgive! I cannotforgive! Oh, God, God, I cannot forgive! It is better to die than tohate! I cannot forgive! I cannot forgive!' And I went and stood outsidehis door in the dark, and I heard him cry, 'I have not sinned so, not so! If I have torn my fellows' flesh ever so little, I have kneeled down andkissed the wound with my mouth till it was healed. I have not willed thatany soul shall be lost through hate of me. If they have but fancied that Iwronged them I have lain down on the ground before them that they mighttread on me, and so, seeing my humiliation, forgive and not be lost throughhating me; they have not cared that my soul should be lost; they have notwilled to save me; they have not tried that I should forgive them!'"I said to him, 'See here, be thou content; do not forgive: forget thissoul and its injury; go on your way. In the next world perhaps--'"He cried, 'Go from me, you understand nothing! What is the next world tome! I am lost now, today. I cannot see the sunlight shine, the dust is inmy throat, the sand is in my eyes! Go from me, you know nothing! Oh, onceagain before I die to see that the world is beautiful! Oh, God, God, Icannot live and not love. I cannot live and hate. Oh, God, God, God!' SoI left him crying out and came back here."God said, "This man's soul must be saved."And the angel said "How?"God said, "Go down you, and save it."The angel said, "What more shall I do?"Then God bent down and whispered in the angel's ear, and the angel spreadout its wings and went down to earth.And partly I woke, sitting there upon the broken stone with my head on myknee; but I was too weary to rise. I heard the wind roam through the olivetrees and among the ruined arches, and then I slept again.The angel went down and found the man with the bitter heart and took him bythe hand, and led him to a certain spot.Now the man wist not where it was the angel would take him nor what hewould show him there. And when they came the angel shaded the man's eyeswith his wing, and when he moved it the man saw somewhat on the earthbefore them. For God had given it to that angel to unclothe a human soul;to take from it all those outward attributes of form, and colour, and age,and sex, whereby one man is known from among his fellows and is marked offfrom the rest, and the soul lay before them, bare, as a man turning his eyeinwards beholds himself.They saw its past, its childhood, the tiny life with the dew upon it; theysaw its youth when the dew was melting, and the creature raised itsLilliputian mouth to drink from a cup too large for it, and they saw howthe water spilt; they saw its hopes that were never realized; they saw itshours of intellectual blindness, men call sin; they saw its hours of all-radiating insight, which men call righteousness; they saw its hour ofstrength, when it leaped to its feet crying, "I am omnipotent;" its hour ofweakness, when it fell to the earth and grasped dust only; they saw what itmight have been, but never would be.The man bent forward.And the angel said, "What is it?"He answered, "It is I! it is myself!" And he went forward as if he wouldhave lain his heart against it; but the angel held him back and covered hiseyes.Now God had given power to the angel further to unclothe that soul, to takefrom it all those outward attributes of time and place and circumstancewhereby the individual life is marked off from the life of the whole.Again the angel uncovered the man's eyes, and he looked. He saw before himthat which in its tiny drop reflects the whole universe; he saw that whichmarks within itself the step of the furthest star, and tells how thecrystal grows under ground where no eye has seen it; that which is wherethe germ in the egg stirs; which moves the outstretched fingers of thelittle newborn babe, and keeps the leaves of the trees pointing upward;which moves where the jelly-fish sail alone on the sunny seas, and is wherethe lichens form on the mountains' rocks.And the man looked.And the angel touched him.But the man bowed his head and shuddered. He whispered--"It is God!"And the angel re-covered the man's eyes. And when he uncovered them therewas one walking from them a little way off;--for the angel had re-clothedthe soul in its outward form and vesture--and the man knew who it was.And the angel said, "Do you know him?"And the man said, "I know him," and he looked after the figure.And the angel said, "Have you forgiven him?"But the man said, "How beautiful my brother is!"And the angel looked into the man's eyes, and he shaded his own face withhis wing from the light. He laughed softly and went up to God.But the men were together on earth.I awoke.The blue, blue sky was over my head, and the waves were breaking below onthe shore. I walked through the little chapel, and I saw the Madonna inblue and red, and the Christ carrying his cross, and the Roman soldierswith the rod, and the Blessed Bambino with its broken face; and then Iwalked down the sloping rock to the brick pathway. The olive trees stoodup on either side of the road, their black berries and pale-green leavesstood out against the sky; and the little ice-plants hung from the crevicesin the stone wall. It seemed to me as if it must have rained while I wasasleep. I thought I had never seen the heavens and the earth look sobeautiful before. I walked down the road. The old, old, old tiredness wasgone.Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she hadtwo large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the roadbefore me.I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and tohave held his hand--only, he would not have known why.Alassio, Italy.
