I can't seem to dream, or at least, I can't seem to remember any of the dreams I have, since they say that regardless to whether you remember or not you do have dreams. Strangely enough, lately I feel very disconnected from myself, and I believe that is stemming from what I am keeping myself from in my subconscious mind. I've been craving a deeper since of spirituality and larger connection to myself. I believe that becoming more aware of my dreams will bring me back to myself.
Once, when I was a kid, I had two very strange dreams that I always distinctly remember. The first dream was that I was lost, I was in a ditch actually, and I felt my grandfather and the rest of my family was trying to find me. I knew that I needed help, and no one would be able to find me if I didn't tell them where I was so I told my spirit to disconnect from my body so that I could let them know where I was. I felt my soul leave me, although wasn't dead, and through my soul's eyes I watched the world around me and existed in the world, and went about trying to let my family know that I was lost in a ditch, however, I never came around to telling them I was lost and my soul would remember my physical self lost in a ditch desperately waiting to be found, however, the spirit me couldn't get those around me to find the physical me. When I woke up from my dream I remained lost.
The other dream was when I was a kid again, and this time I was in school and I fell asleep in class. During that dream I dreamt everything that is going on in my life now. I woke up from the dream and I threw up all over my desk in class. Come to find out I was coming down with the chicken pox, and I later got pneumonia. The strange thing about that dream was, I never could really distinguish which was the dream, and which was reality. I'm not for sure if I actually fell asleep and dreamed my entire life, or if I'm still that little girl dreaming about the life I'm living now, and the "dream" actually started when I threw up on my desk. Sometimes I even have deja vu, and remember things before they even happen.
I'm not for sure what all this says about my life, but I feel it's important that I try to figure out how these dreams are significant to my life. Hopefully this journal will help me out.
