Author: pamie





Okay, so in the dream I'm getting married to Eric. But

for some reason this wedding was just sort of thrown

together. I don't even think I'm wearing a bridal gown.

There's all sorts of people there that I know, but they all

look miserable-- like I've called them to a meeting. We

have to wait in line for the couple before us to get

married so that I can, and then when it's time we're

married before I even know what's happening. There's

like, no ceremony at all. Then the photographer is pulling

on my arm, "Hey, I forgot to take any pictures, so could

you guys all stand in the center here and pretend you're

having a good time?"



So we're all fake dancing in the center of this room

where there's all these overturned chairs and tables and

it's a mess and I see my reflection and I look terrible. I

start trying to cheer all of my friends up, but they don't

want to talk to each other, so some of them have

moved on to other rooms and some are hiding and

some are just getting drunk. I try to go out the front

but someone stops me and says that my mother is out

there getting the cake ready and getting my presents

together.



I was really mad because some of my best friends didn't

show up, but people who I think are only nice to me in

person but are evil behind my back all were there, trying

to kiss my cheek and tell me how happy they were for

me.



I go to try and cheer someone else up, who for some

reason is sitting on a wall with a couple of people I knew

from high school and she tells me that I'm not going to

get any cake if I don't hurry.



She was right. The cake was all gone. The presents

were in a jumbled pile by the door and quite a mess.



I walked outside and sat in the grass. There were some

Star Wars action figures there, so I picked them up and

started playing with them like dolls. I made a little

box-chair and was pretending that the Star Wars guys

had gone to a strip club and the girl action figures were

dancing for them. People were walking by and staring,

but I didn't care. I started rolling in the grass and

creating this whole world for my action figure dolls just

like I did when I was a kid. Some guy came up to me

and told me that he didn't know what to get me for my

wedding gift because I never registered anywhere and he

had no idea what I would like. That's when it all hit me.

I was married, I had no wedding presents that were any

good, and I couldn't remember the ceremony. Then I

sort of woke up in the dream and realized that I was in

the bed alone. I was very upset that the last thing I

remembered about my wedding night was playing with

Star Wars action figures.



I went to my computer and sat down to make my

Squishy entry and I thought to myself, "What am I going

to tell everyone? They are expecting me to type 'Well,

I'm a taken woman, now. Everything was beautiful. All

went just as planned. Off to Cancun!' But instead I

want to write, 'Could someone tell me what the fuck

happened? Why did I spend my wedding night alone?'"



I went and found Eric, who was sleeping alone in a bed.

He looked like he had been out drinking all night long. I

woke him up. "Hey," I said, shaking his leg, "What

happened last night? I never saw you?"



"Well, you were asleep," he said, "I didn't want to wake

you."



"I just remembered we never planned a honeymoon."



"Well, you needed this wedding so badly, I guess it never

occurred to you that we could use this ceremony as a

chance to better our lives together."



"We didn't get any presents. We got one thing that

looked like it wasn't an ash tray, and it's a battery

charger."



"We didn't get any money."



"We don't have anything to do now. I don't even really

remember it."



"That's fucking great."



"I just feel like maybe you are mad at me," I said to him.



"Really? Why do you think that?"



"Well, I just feel like maybe you didn't want to get

married to me and you were doing it to be nice and now

you hate me. I think you think we made a mistake."



Eric's face somehow morphed into David Spade's: "Oh.

You think?"



And I woke up yelling.

People David

Next: Transforming Anime dream Previous: Tae-Bo Report Privacy ADD TO EBOOK