I go to sleep and ET is pointing a gun at me. We play Russian Roulette, and Dylan Saunders grabs the gun from ET and points it at the television and destroys it. She's wearing a Kentucky Fried Chicken outfit, and ET starts throwing chicken wings at her. The police come over the house, led by Colonel Saunders, and I am taken to court for refusing to eat poultry, and forced to eat fried chicken in front of a probation officer. That's ridiculous, Colonel Saunders has passed on, he's just a cartoon, I wake up.
Alex Munday and Alex the Invisible Assassin are in an argument about who stole her friend Little Debbie's snack cake alpha-test, which was locked in a safe. They're tearing up this college bookstore, and we all have to run, as books and bookshelves are flying all over the place. The cash register goes through the window, and poles are going through the window. Then, the bookstore tilts a bit, as if hit by an earthquake, and the roof goes up into space, twirling, with a book title on it. Oh, no, I wake up again. I cannot even read the book title, that has to be a dream.
Back to sleep, I hope I don't have to watch Charlie's Angels Full Throttle anymore. There's ten screens of Charlies Angels in this dream, and people are jabbering and screaming and yabbering all kinds of things at me all at once, and handing me note cards, and taping them to the screens, and stopping the television sets, and reviewing them, and punching things into the keyboard. Then, people wearing McDonald's uniforms are dumping hamburgers in dump trucks onto the stage of this strip tease joint, as Ronald McDonald is taking off his uniform to reveal that he really is the Grimace.
The snowman from the Nestea iced tea commercial is dancing on stage, and most of Hollywood is watching this snowman act as a ringmaster for a bunch of melting snowflakes that reveal that after they all melt, they are nothing other than air.
Then, the Invisible Man gets on stage, with everybody's wallet in a giant hat, and tells the audience to pick a wallet, any wallet. I wake up and I reach for my wallet to make sure that it is still there.
Pink's agent is yapping away on the telephone, literally barking like a dog. Pink is in the lobby, directing motorcycle traffic around the office. This goes on for about ten minutes, and a fax rolls in for 200,000 rubles. This is ridiculous, rubles have not been a legitimate currency since sometime around 1990. I wake up. I mean, if a someone walked in with a hand truck full of fax machines and laptop computers; or even a suitcase full of French blue jeans, British sweaters, Italian charm bracelets, and Swiss watches - that would have been believeable.
Then, I am watching Nicole Kidman going invisible and throwing jellybeans everywhere, while licking giant lollipops. She is surrounded by sugar candies, everywhere, and is wearing an elegant, white silk dress, while licking a giant Hollywood sign, made entirely out of sugar cubes. That's ridiculous, first of all the giant Hollywood sign is made out of metal or wood, and secondly, she could not just whisk out of the room and appear on a hill like that. I wake up again, it's going to be another long night.
